Hello readers, so it's been a while since I've posted anything so I'm going to be babbling about random shit that's been happening and what I've been thinking.
I am now a junior in college and majoring in psychology. This has been my third major change since freshman year, being a business major, then to undecided, to music. Psychology seems to have my interests at hand so far with so many sub fields to choose from. A few choices I've considered are Positive Psychology which is the study of what makes people happy - It just sounds awesome. On a more common path, behavioral psychology because I am always interested in how people act, and more specifically Personality Psychology, in the study of what makes each and every one of us unique, why and how. I always ask myself why a person reacts to something much differently than I would, or how would someone else react to something rather than the way I just did. I believe personalities can become repetitive in others, granting similar likes, reactions to things, and overall daily mood, thus granting the ability to connect to others through similar interests.
What I've been wondering lately is what makes people change. Does their whole personality change or just a few qualities? How and why do people change and possibly who changes people?
A personality is a repetitive combination of our behaviors to given situations. I think the most influential part of change is society. People have so much impact on others, the one person who you can actually have a good time with starts to rub off on you, and vice versa. I also believe knowing someone too much causes change, as everyone has different opinions. You are bound to butt heads with this person, on many many occasions. Fights or arguments may even be started. And some how, this person you knew so well and for so long can be gone from your life in an instant. Why? Because you got to know the real person, aside from when you first met this person. And even when you hang around with mutual friends, you get confused as to why this person is acting different to them than just with you. Maybe these aren't personality changes, but personality fronts. I think once someone is able to accept differences of another human being, and still being able to get along with this person is what people call a best friend.
Now here's a problem with best friends ( I already know I'm jumping). It's a problem of obedience. Who listens to who more, who calls all the shots, who respects each other's opinions more. Why does saying no to a really good friend mean you are dissing them? When is it time to put your foot down and knowing that you are just overreacting? If being wrong a lot of the times loses your validity in saying anything, does your friend have the right to always ignore your say? I've been on the 'being told what to do' side more than a number of times, and sometimes it got really annoying. It's hard to feel like your not a chauffeur when all a friend has been asking is for a ride and nothing else for more than one day. It's hard to feel like you're not being stepped on because you don't know what's best so you let others decide for you. When you're not as knowledgeable as another friend and they purposefully stump you every time in your opinion so eventually you learn not to say anything anymore around this person because you are tired of feeling like shit. I don't know the right time to say a concern without sounding like I'm bitching or being told I don't know what I'm talking about. I've learned to say what's on my mind more frequently instead of holding it in, but 70% of the time either it backfires on me or nothing has changed, and what I said meant nothing. I've also met friends just like me, and actually give me opportunities to say what I want and go where I want, and it feels fucking great. lol
I've asked this question to a few friends, asking "How far would you change for someone? Or would you make them accept you for everything?" They both answered the latter. But whose to say that there aren't people who do change for someone they love. Is it a bad thing? Can we really change who we are? The saying once a cheater always a cheater comes to mind when it comes to changing your priorities. But also changing the way we think, and how some of the ways you think things through can annoy that significant other. I believe myself that we should be accepted for all our faults, however many, and not be punished and ridiculed for them, but I'm sure there are others who disagree and think that there is a possibility to mold someone into what we want them to be. I would just have to say that's selfish of the person trying to change the other, but they could argue against me that it's selfish of the person who has many faults who doesn't want to try. I could use a lot of opinions on this question.
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